It's about time I take the whiteness test. The list keeps growing and further identifying a lot of the population most people I know would love to avoid - even though we apparently share a lot of similarities. So here's the list as it stands and my determination of just how white I truly am.
Likes:
Why wouldn't you wanna go camping?
Let's be honest kids. Ed Hardy is about as ridiculous as it gets. The art is isn't cool and neither is paying hundreds for any shirt. Dumb, dumb, dumb... Oh yeah, I've only met one person wearing Ed Hardy who wasn't a douche - and that's because he didn't know what Ed Hardy was. Lucky son of a bitch.
This falls under themed parties as being cooler than sitting around and getting wasted while doing nothing. I am indeed a fan.
I think this one ought to be taken off the list - it's soo Election 2008. Honestly, yuppie white people actually don't like America. That's why they threaten to move to Canadia. I, on the otherhand, do have a profound appreciation for America.
Yes I do - and in massive quantities. It's like ranch dip that tastes better and doesn't make you quite as fat. Oh yeah, did you know it has GARLIC? Eat enough of the stuff w/out deodorant and you'll smell like one of the kids at Evergreen. Hell yeah!
The Onion is the closest thing to the now web-based only Weekly World News Magazine. I don't think it's even the real staff running the website. But I loved those magazines!! Funniest shit you could read. I even used some of it as dummy text and headline examples in my military editors course a few years ago. I think all the would-be Weekly World News contributors are now working for the Onion - which is now about as good as it gets.
Capt. Obvious says I like FB. And while we're on the subject, I DON'T WANNA PLAY YOUR STUPID GAMES!!
Apparently I am infatuated with these things. I've literally done 1.5 total years of PAID internship - that is of course ME paying to work. It's a great deal because in most cases it's really just a resume bullet so a magazine can get free talent while I pay about $2500/semester to work for them. I actually loathe unpaid internships, but they're a must if you ever want a real job.
Don't fuck w/ me about my sweaters. But if you do you definitely won't be the first.
Busted. I'm that guy who is riding your ass to read your bumper stickers. I like reading them. I saw one on a Ford Explorer the other day that read, "Thank God Ford doesn't make airplanes." See, you like bumper stickers too.
I loathe poor grammar. I even celebrated National Grammar Day this year. It's also helpful for keeping me out of trouble at work.
We is po. Nuff said.
This is actually my favorite West Coast City. It's a real city with a real identity. I just can't take their sports teams very seriously - there or Oakland. How can they have such a high concentration of sports teams w/ no legit fans? This makes no sense to me.
This is endemic to white people? I thought the cotton t-shirt was pretty common across the board. Nonetheless, I love t-shirts.
Killer MC doing his own thing. Not a lot of that in hip hop or really any other music genre for that matter.
Even if they're gonna put your recyclables in the dump, it's not really that big of a deal to separate your trash is it? I mean - just in case that whole trashing the earth is a legitimate theory.
I use it if it works. That makes sense.
I wholeheartedly agree. That body of water must be either the ocean or some inlet from a major body of water from an ocean - preferably not the Gulf of Mexico.
Do you mean like making a list of 133 things the majority of people in America like? Yeah, I do like it.
These are are also pretty good ideas. I'm not the biggest fan of co-ops being you have to pay into them and you don't really get things that much cheaper. Whole foods is freakin' awesome, but way overpriced. Why didn't they add Trader Joe's to this list? I'd be a liker of that too.
I come and go on this one. It's still really subjective and mostly comes in waves of really damn good or terrible in an effort to not sound like anything else, including anything good.
Don't have this battle w/ me. You can bring up the iPhone 4, but I don't own one and I'd be sure to have one of the functioning ones if I did. Every time I open up my MacBook Pro, it works. I don't get spyware or adware. I don't get viruses. Did I mention all my Apple products work?
Even Lindsay's iBook G3 circa 2001 is still plugging away for one of our good friends. Macs are essentially the Hondas of computers. And just like Honda, they look cool now too. And just like Honda, they had a couple shitty models. But I wouldn't expect Apple to leave things that way for long. They like their profits too much.
Always better than cable - no advertisements. I love the idea of people paying for cable to watch advertisements, bad shows and movies you could have Netflixed w/out having it hacked and sanitized to fit between a two-hour commercial slot. Not to mention, how else would Hannah know to make her daddy act as The French Chef Julia Child if her parents hadn't had Netflix and ordered every single episode of the show?
I love sarcasm. Therefore I love both these shows. It could be that whole irony thing too.
"HAY! What if the moon were made of barbecue spare ribs, would you eat it then?"
Anytime anyone mentions Wrigley Field I think about WGN-9, Harry Caray and the Cubs. I don't actually remember routing for either the Cubs or the Braves, but teams were always on. And all that ivy on the outfield wall - who doesn't like that? Yankee Stadium is gone, Fenway's on the chopping block and then it's Wrigley. Wrigley is a huge part of baseball w/ a tremendous amount of history.
Sans Brooklyn. I don't wanna live in Brooklyn. Why would you wanna live there? Manhattan has always been cool - only now it's just that much whiter. All of NYC was less white in the 80s. I can seriously remember my mom not letting us sit down on the subways because of the wet spray paint. Don't get me wrong, I loved it then too. Isn't it better now that a lot of white people like it though? Thanks Rudy, Hannah got to ride all the way to the Bronx at 9 p.m. this past February on the nice subways. And get this - our family was the only white people on that nice subway. The Bronx are next on this list and we'll be able to claim FIRST!
Yep. The beer in Asia just didn't cut it. It's like all the domestics in this country. It tastes the same - bad. Although, Angkor Brewery in Cambodia has a killer Stout. Does that count as a microbrewery?
The only reason us white folks like to travel so much is because we're rich and full of opportunity. Plus, there's nothing like experiencing the ineptitude of other lesser people.
I try.
It really is a good idea. I'm still wondering if it's worth the price and how "organic" it really is.
Not to be confused w/ flea markets - which are still kinda cool in their own right. I like farmer's markets that have shit I want, not soap that doesn't work, candles I can make at home or beef jerkey that tastes just like beef jerkey and homemade salsa that tastes just like salsa only cost more.
Live and die by this.
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