Unwelcome

No matter how much I love about Cambodia, most Cambodian people people will never feel the same about me or the majority of people from my culture. We are human and do very human things. The local Khmers here in Phnom Penh and the foreigner visitors who frequent this place are not exempt. Their (including me now) relationship of tourist vs. local is really just a Khmer and Western version of any resort town across the globe.

My wallet is the only welcome guest here. My skin color makes me an outcast, thanks to the millions of people who've come here and exchanged money w/ the locals - who have in turn come to expect the equivalent of $100/day from any person who appears to be a foreigner. We're all dressed like Sana Claus to them and have simply come to expect we have a sack filled w/ those $100 bills.

This is a stereotype from both myself and the local merchants here in Phnom Penh. Crude and disrespectful Westerners are only matched in numbers by another set of Westerners who stubbornly insist they're "helping" when in fact they haven't the slightest understanding of what their actions will cause. Hence the anti-Western mentality here.

The vast majority of Khmer people here stubbornly insist I am both rich and obligated to pay more than double what they do for just about anything in this city. Part of me takes sympathy on their lifestyle and I want to donate money to help make their lives different. That's not what happens though. Once you donate, you are expected to give - it becomes your obligation.

I often relate to their situation having lived in a resort town as well. The people who visit and feel they bring something to your hometown are the same people who bring their indifference and attitudes and self-inflated views. The only difference is that we lived there by choice and our choice was so we could participate in recreation. Basically - we were voluntarily poor and living in substandard accommodations for the mountains. Yes. That's a very idealistic lifestyle.

Here the people can work their asses off and make the average wage for their area, kind of like me or Lindsay. We certainly don't make what most of our equally educated/experienced peers makes. We don't have the car or house we really want. All I have to do is press rewind and I'm living in a small apartment w/ no kitchen - just a room w/ a bedroom for my family and I w/ cars we cannot afford to keep running to the jobs we can hardly afford to keep and school we can only dream of attending. At that point I definitely looked at people who had good jobs and suitable living conditions and their shitty attitudes w/ resentment toward their sense of entitlement. I never lost that resentment and hope I never do. No one is promised anything - even Americans. I see those same people here at the Raffles. They are disgustingly content w/ what they consider to be suitable accommodations. In fact, this is the best hotel in Cambodia and essentially the Ritz-Carlton in NYC. No one I know will ever afford to stay there. And I have almost nothing in common w/ people who would stay there or here. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for the U.S. Government.

The minimum wage here doesn't buy what it buys in our country. Even though I feel the ratios between living costs and income are very similar, the acceptable standard quality of life here is just far below our own. This is because of a vast social difference between our society and theirs. Smelling sewage here is acceptable. Living multiple people to a room is acceptable here. Riding two adults and two infants on a scooter bike (by the thousands) is acceptable. Pissing in the road is widely accepted. Corruption and bribery are accepted here. Hundreds dying on the roads everyday because traffic rules are both few and not enforced is accepted. As Americans and Westerners, we have a very difficult time accepting these and many other common norms here. Then we also accept being overpaid for our substandard work, being mass consumers, feeling entitled to healthcare, comforts and our ridiculous "hobbies" that cost enough to educate two generations of one Khmer family. Talk about inequality.

This is where my urge to give money to level the playing field comes back in. It doesn't level the playing field. It breeds more entitlement by people either begging or price gouging. This is the micro example and the U.S. is a perfect macro example.

I feel I understand a lot about the dynamic between locals and visitors here and am very empathetic to the Khmers. However, no matter how empathetic I am, I will never truly understand their perspective and they will never understand mine. That's because we're all human. All the things that make us great are what make us terrible and vice versa. It all depends where you're standing.