Endurance

So how's the Champ doing?

Pretty good under the circumstances.

Moving into the big leagues - it's painfully familiar at times, but it's where he needs to be. Training - it's painfully difficult, especially staying committed to it. Training is what's brought him this far in a short time. What a year...

Things can change a lot in 365 days. The weather is the same as last year but the climate is dramatically different. Now is when you start to realize just how much has happened this last year. Now is no time to be tired. There's endless work to do - both training and ring time.

Where is he on the ladder? Somewhere in the middle - fighting to make success a habit and make positivity a matter of muscle memory. The fight is mostly internal, where the most confusing work needs to be done.

Good and bad things happen in life. How they affect us could easily be graded on a scale in tenths. One being the lowest and worst and 10 being the highest and best. We place up and down on this scale depending on how we feel. And the way we feel about events are relative to our position on the scale. Some things are positive for one point while some things can be negative for three points. They affect where we sit on the scale.

Let's say you're at seven and score a positive five. Well you've only got three points to go, so this wouldn't be as big a deal as if you were at three and scored the same five. Of course this works in reverse as well.

Training is the only way you can bring up your standings. It makes the bigger positives more likely to occur and affects your everyday state. No training leads to failure followed by bigger failures. This thing is pretty complex and difficult to win. Consistent training is the answer every time. It keeps you from over-complicating an already complicated idea.

Back ot the gym for more endurance.

And now... Nothing

That's what I'd like to do today - nothing.

Happy Easter everyone. Hopefully you're enjoying doing doing nothing.

The Well

One thing about a series of events, whether good or bad, is we never know how long it's going to last. Kind of like a well - hence my headline. And in this case I'm particularly floored by how many good things are happening in such a short time period. You could call this a good-news well. I've found a lot of bad news wells too.

On that note, I have to remember how these things go. Everything can fall out w/ no warning. Not that things will ultimately go that way - just sometimes they do. Just accepting that's life is a fair approach. Preparing for them is a good approach. Anticipating and looking through them is the sound approach - for both good and bad wells. The best approach is to have many wells. Some call this diversity. I call it balance.

Mt. Bachelor

I never really get photos of me skiing. So I was very stoked to work w/ Bend-based photographer Tyler Roemer. Check out his blog at http://tylerroemer.blogspot.com/ and on his personal site http://tylerroemer.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

The day ended right after I landed. Seems we don't have any readily-available photos of that landing...

Just Remembered

I'm just remembering a dream I had about Shane and his family - something about still living in the valley but in an apartment below him and his family. He still knew how to throw a house party for grown ups. I think I realized then I was going to enjoy every day I spend in the ski industry - because so many people will never get to do it. Thanks for some more inspiration Shane.
This is just too unreal.

You Remember

We all remember where we were for things like 9/11 or for those of you before my time - the Kennedy assassinations.

But for adventure sport enthusiasts, especially skiers, we will all remember exactly what we were doing when we learned Shane McConkey passed away.

I'll remember having missed the instant message from Luke about it when I got home.

His ski failed to release on a BASE jump in the Italian Dolomite Mountains just a few hours ago. My heart goes out to Shane's wife and three-year-old daughter.

I'm somewhere between devastated, inspired, angry and numb.

It just occurred to me that Shane is immortalized among the Chuck Yeagers and Alan Shepards of the world. He was on a whole nother level - I just never realized it.

Rest in peace Shane. We are all better people for having known you.

Hannah Night at the Improv

From Hannah's Performance

Training

So all this talk I do about training and fighting the good fight has nothing to do w/ boxing. Hope I didn't just Sixth Sense you there.

O.k., I'll explain what I mean. You know when you watched Sixth Sense for the first time and realized dood was really dead? Well anyway I used to give away the ending to that movie for fun. And people would be reasonably pissed at me. Well, I hope I didn't just blow the whole boxing = life analogy for you.

Anyway - moving on now.

All this talk and research about Muhammad Ali's personal and professional life inspired me to actually go to, and exercise in, a gym. This should shock you even more than the Sixth Sense did. As anyone who knows me already knows - this champ HATES the gym.

Well make that HATED the gym because I like it now. And I need it more than ever. Sitting here on the couch is making me gain fat while withering muscle away underneath. This means I'm just going to hurt myself skiing - not to mention that potential heart attack at 55 or the grocery list of other health risks associated w/ a sedentary lifestyle.

Most importantly, it keeps my head clear - more than any drug or treatment available. And that's a good thing.

Now with my Navy physical fitness test coming up next month, I'm going to actually try making good marks. That's a first for Petty Officer Tross. I'm also going to shoot for an outstanding after this one. Call it what you will. I call it growing up.

Maybe we should call it training for the big match - life.

Shralpine Shredows

So I don't have any footage or great words to describe what video can show. This was some of the best consistency I've ever had - in snow that is. Enjoy.

My Turn

O.k., maybe turns.

Here's 1/4 of my descent from Crater Crest, just beneath the Sawtooth Ridge on the edge of Yosemite, California.

From Jason Tahoe Trip

I Miss Squaw

And here's why. I didn't get to ski Squaw while I was in California these past eight days. But my game is looking good and I'd like start working toward something like this video. It's an April powder day on the fingers - right off the KT-22 Chair.

Smallest route off those cliffs is at least 30 feet.

Even after four years, I still haven't gotten sick of this clip.

And Just Like That

I duck and I dodge. I dance and I move. I've done it again.

One refreshing break and it's back at em' again - and shined this time. I didn't know I was going to be able to duck or dodge this one. My training is paying off now.

How It Really Happens

Fighting an opponent in the ring is the easy part. You just train and get experience fighting. Well maybe I've simplified things a bit, but it's not too far off. This is the simple recipe for winning fights.

But what about being a winning fighter?

Some people just do and others do not. And, like many other great fighters, I've been mislead - yet again.

The failure is o.k., but its recurrence is not. And the failure has happened again.

People know the Champ is a strong and talented fighter and they cannot win in the ring. That's why most attack from outside of the ring. You don't see our opponents face-to-face the same way out here.

These are the things that happen behind closed doors without you, but have everything to do with you . Knowing these things are happening before they affect you is good. Preventing them is absolutely required.

This issue requires a different kind of training. This requires me to think beyond what I have done before, and while I still have time.

These last rounds have been intense - I've taken a beating. But - I'm winning my fights. Now the politics and the fans.

And you wanted to know why?

I know why I left this place

I know why I left this side of the industry

I know why I was getting that oddly familiar response

I know why I was getting that oddly familiar look

I know why I would rather be home

I know why I made all the personal decisions to be be where I live right now

I know why they all bullshit till they're blue

I know why they are fake

I'm beginning to realize even more.

Again?

Anyone remember my blog about a professional baseball player coming back to where his career started? Fancy this.

It's ironic when Griffey comes back to Seattle and the Navy brings me back - then offers me my old job back. It's almost prophetic.

Some things have changed since I did this last. We're not called journalists anymore. Now we're mass communications specialists and even have a shiny new insignia.

I'll shave my face and put that uniform on again tomorrow morning. Then I'll drive to Bremerton and sit for my E-5 exam. No time for preparation, just going on what I know. Let's hope I remember my job as well as I remember knowing it.

Maybe I can get Griffey's perspective on returning to Seattle this summer during Sea Fair. Might help change my own perspective on returning to the team that helped start it all for me.

I hope to learn my career is from its tenure.

Not all stress is bad

But any way you look at it, it doesn't feel nice and helps give me just enough stuff to do to make it all intimidating and distracting.

Like a Homecoming...

Usually I don't speak in literals, but today I just have to. It was all too intense.

You don't know what you don't know. 

And now I know how big a deal my leaving the Navy was. 

Today felt incredible. I donned my new uniform and old ribbons, NSAWC nametag - put on my belt and it was like muscle memory. I even put on my shirt stays. Only it feels right this time. Even my fucked up Navy haircut feels great. 

Now I know how devastating the events of July 2005 were and why. Almost all I'd worked for was snatched from me. It's right up there with the top 5 shitty things to happen in my life. But despite my best efforts - I'm back.

I look at the Navy now with a different perspective. It's as much a part of me as my family, skiing, upstate New York or anything else. It's ten years of commitment and work - the hardest work I've ever done. I earned everything I got in the Navy. That's why I sit in this very nice hotel enjoying the nightime silence on this beautiful base, all while making a nice wage. 

I miss Bremerton. I particularly miss the base. Everything is so familiar it's like home. So much of who I am happened here. Long conversations in those very same phone booths outside the exchange. Seeing the resource center where I planned my then girlfriend's trip to see me. The Olympic Mountain views. The temperature. This morning's sunrise over Oyster Bay. The uniforms. The BEQ buildings where Memo and I shared a barracks room for months. Those same barracks where Debbie and I had the craziest nights imaginable. Those same ones where I got my shit together and threw it all on the line for Lindsay. The bowling alley where McAteer and I looked to find trouble. The same CIA gates where I walked to the USS Abraham Lincoln and hated the Navy. I was here on 9/11. This is the same uniform shop where I bought my first JO rating badge. These barracks in Bangor are where Lindsay and I stayed while she was pregnant with Meghan. I recognize uniforms and ribbons. I'm helping other people out. I really like knowing what the fuck I'm talking about. Then there's the free gym and the cheap commissary. Then there's the places I used to drive my Accord. 

It's almost like everyone's faces are still here. Juan will be waiting to meet me on the pier. Debbie has a room at the BEQ. Memo is sitting in the barracks room surfing channels. Thibedeaux and Neil Young are picking me up at the mini mart. Byun is using the computers at the Resource Center. The USS Sacramento is still at the pier and all my friends are still on it.Casey Poole is walking down the pier to her green Ford Escort - all while being much more civilized than the rest of us. Barb is walking w/ me to the galley for lunch where Rachael is cooking the food. Elizondo and Paguay are going to meet us and drink with Sturm, Little, Thibs and Ivey at their house. 

But those faces are gone. Even though they're still in my heart. 

I walk by those same places and think about the things I used to do. Then I think about what I do now. I was so unhealthy and so misguided. No one could have changed that - I had to. I ate terrible food and wasted so much of my time, money and energy. Just misguided that's all...

I haven't popped off my first salute yet, and kind of don't want to. It's just like that last part of the transition I'm holding onto. I'm just scared I'll fall into line w/ everyone else and that's not what I want. I want to be me here.

I never knew it, but I am the Navy - and the Navy is me. Thanks for pointing that out Amar.

Homeward Bound...

More on the Tahoe.

Looks like next weekend I'll be staring at my beloved Squaw Valley USA, followed by Kirkwood and condo runs at Schralpine Shredows (Alpine Meadows).

I miss Tahoe sooo much and I'm headed back in a week. Think hitting the gym now will help? Hope so.

This is one of my favorite places on earth. Something about this valley captures everything that stresses you out in this world and alleviates it. Even nearby Alpine Meadows can't do it. It's like a piece of Hawaii relocated to California - the best part of California.

It's Time

It's time to head back. Stand by Reno...

Looks like I can be there for free in less than an hour. Seriously - what am I waiting for?

One big fucking fat storm - that's what.

Ding!

And that's a rap. No fancy pictures or dramatic finishes. I definitely came through late in the 12th round for a knockout. I almost had to go the distance and shouldn't have had to go the distance.

I'm not really as bruised or as beaten as I thought I'd be. Good thing.

Remember me talking about remnants of the better me? Well they came through tonight. Total time 5.5 hours and my paper's reading better than pretty much any journalistic piece I've written in four years. Prolly since my Powder days. I really thought I was screwed for a minute.

I've done so much in January it feels like Obama got elected two months ago and I was at Baker doing my story last season. Man...

This morning I got to finish dumping the rest of the $1,400 into the Subaru over the past ten days. What fun. But it's over.

He's down for the count. I beat January.

I'm officially 1-0 vs. 2009.

Putting it Down

January is coming to a close and so are a myriad of projects started this month. I feel comfortable saying this month will be a victory - for many reasons.

I'm back in the ring and that's the most important thing. Second, I can feel it starting to come back in a ton of ways. I can see where I'm doing well and where I need ot improve.

For now, I'm just going to put this fighter down and take the W.

It wasn't pretty though - and it shows I have much training to do. This one should have gone down much easier. Bobby Knight was right about Ws and Ls - but we haven't addressed the training aspect of things. I have much to do in the gym - both figuratively and literally. But I survived on raw talent.

Two Freeskier travel stories for the magazine, four online stories, two temporarily confidential in-depth work proposals, drill weekend with locked orders to Commander Navy Region Northwest, maintaining school, my 9-3 work study, Surfrider volunteering and being a respectable father and husband - it was a tough fight.

But I did it. Done and this is the point within the match where I this one in the books. Now to make sure I build on it.

And She Plays the Flute Too

I apologize to everyone at once. Somehow I missed this during the election. Well there's no time like the present to make it up to you.

Funny how I just saw a direct correlation to Mrs. Palin's managing her candidacy like a beauty pageant.

Enjoy!

They Keep Comin'

Still plugging along. I think we're somewhere in the middle of some round - I have no idea which one or how deep I am.

Rounds one, two and three went very solid. I even managed to pass the monotony of late round two. Now I'm just plugging away and the hits keep coming. Nothing's taking me to the mat, but no doubt about it these are starting to sting. I know I'm up in points, stamina and the opponent is feeling weary - but not enough to put him down. I just have to wait.

Now is where I start thinking about distance training or going the distance. This is where it gets easy to lose sight of the goal. This is where a fighter can get lost. You've done really well this far, but the battle is far from over. It's this comfort that allows you to be taken by surprise. I'm not letting my guard down.

Where Did That Come From?

Evergreen seminars are like a failed tennis match.

A good game is played where the ball is served to the opponent with the hopes of having served well enough the other cannot return. And if it is returned you can hold your own till the opponent slips up - you win.

Tennis is like debate - unless it's at Evergreen.

I just watched terrible tennis players serve to themselves and purposely see how far they could hit the ball into the crowd.

I'm just laughing to myself while watching what could be a great class turn into a personal spout session. I hammer myself when I participate.

Hard News

It's like the most basic mechanics of any activity. In this case it's writing. And the foundation is hard news writing. I can do it fast and it's always effective. Good thing too.

I went down right in the end of the second last night. This was a good way to get back on top and win the round - despite the surprise hit. Didn't really see it coming. But I got back up, hit fast and hard and delivered. Good thing. I won this round. Thank god. Now for the next - class. Oh boy.

Three Minutes of Unknown

Things are looking up for the champ as I close the second round. Countless solid punches and I'm hardly feeling the sting of a blow. Now I'm starting to see results. Now is also when I need to keep composure. I've started a lot of losses here.
So just concentrate on this round of this match only. If it were only so simple. I'm accustomed to training.
Training is lonely.
The match is before thousands of emotionally charged onlookers. The crowd adds a whole new dynamic. Cheers, screams, jeers, ambient noise - it all adds up. Either completely block it out or only take the good. Seems better to block it all out. I care about them too much.
Fans come and go. Old ones return to route for the champ. New ones jump on board. Old haters still hate and some switch back and forth. Then you get new haters you wish were fans.
This is when you need crowd control and it is incredibly difficult to master with a fight at hand. I feel like I need the fans to win. I don't want to have my crowd turn on me. The most successful fighters have solid fans and it can be the edge. I want that edge. It is often my demise.
Truth is, more people cheer you when you win - even in light of the harshest critic. Fans are not your friends. They don't even know you. Start losing and they'll turn on you. That's tough to remember. Even now - entering the third round.
I'm ready for this round to end, but it's three minutes long and that's that. I'm up so far and now I'm scared things could change in remaining seconds. Going the distance right now seems far. Truth is, that distance is a very short one.
Every punch and move still counts very much in this fight. Let's win and we'll look at the next fight afterward. Winning here is part of training for the big one.

Because I Haven't

It's about time to write.

The holidays are over. I just got back from Mt. baker and Bellingham and my first travel budget story for Freeskier before being stranded in Olympia for the better portion of last week.

I also have two more stories due next week, along with two school assignments, my work study and need to think about going to Vegas for SIA.



I don't know what to do, other than stay busy.

I Accepted It

This is your assignment should you choose to accept it - and I did. So now I'm feeling a little like I don't have any direction. I need to make something happen tomorrow because the trip is feeling a little uneventful.
I did get to ski the same location Iberg and everyone hit in Idea. It's pillow lines in the trees - something I've been dreaming of skiing for years. I don't know if it's appropriate to write about skiing my dream line, but it sure feels right. Maybe I'll do that for the web and do the cheese for the magazine.
I have no idea - what I do know is that I'm fucking tired and I'm pushing it again. Time for beddy bye.

And I Thought Avalanches Were Scary

Hello Again

Someone should physically restrain me from blogging while intoxicated. I mean really. I, and absolutely anyone else reading it, have no idea what I was writing about. So I removed it.

I know what I'm talking about now. Not remembering the last hour of 2008 is kind of how I wish the entire year went - and I did my best to make it that way. I spoke of things changing with the magazine, work and school in December and it's absolutely carrying over to 2009. This new year is poised to be the best yet and I'm doing everything I can to make it that way.

Grizzly Night

Being in a different town and being different from the people in that town is a different experience. I just left the local Hoquiam bar - and not the way I wanted to. I guess the same rules apply to meeting women as to meeting people. You should always go w/ some kind of friends and not look in bars for new friends. Alcohol turns people to assholes and I'm no different.
The response I received from the blue-collar crowd w/ my clearly white-collar attitude was terrible. I never want to be like them and I guess it shows. There's no way around it.
Should I leave? What about affordable housing? I just don't know. After my incredibly rude reception, I don't want to be here anymore. I just went out for a simple night at the bar meeting people. We're different - to say the least.
Even if you don't like the people you've been rejected by, it's still a blow to your pride. This is no exception. I'll do my best to not let it ruin my night, but it's the prevalent tone for sure. That's all.

The 29 Year in Review

Being 28 in 2008 sucked. This year tops heavy hitters 2002, 1994 and the notable recent years 2005 and its 1-2-punch combo partner 2006. This past month is this year's only saving grace. A fortunate series of events puts December 08' as one of the best months on record, especially relative to the previous 11.
Here's to a new year for me - 29. This is positioned to be a great one. With all the incredible good things in my corner, comes the risk of blowing it all. The best news is my improving ability to not blow it. Good thing.
Mother Nature is happy I'm turning 29. She's ordered me 36 inches in the next 24 hours. See - a great start to this year.

From Dusty Shattuck:

A very realistic glimpse of life - real life when the Greatest Generation came together to make our country great. Let's hope we never lose sight of this and can learn to emulate it. It's why we have what we have.

This is a letter from Dusty Shattuck to his grandson about his life at eight years old in 1941 - just as Pearl Harbor was bombed. Notice the willingness of every American to sacrifice for the good of the nation and world as a whole. Can America still do this?
December 7, 2008

Tanner,

Thank you and your teacher for being concerned about us “older” members of society. Not only is this a good project for you and your teachers, it has made me think a lot about when I was your age. I think your teacher and you will think that a lot of the things I’m about to say today were either quite funny or by today’s standards, not “cool”.

I lived in Marshfield, Oregon (now Coos Bay) in 1941. It just so happens that while I am writing this, it is also Dec. 7th. Maybe your teacher will explain the significance of that date to you and your class.
Most of the moms then were “stay at home” moms and the women that did work were usually secretaries, nurses and teachers. I don’t remember any men teachers in the school, and didn’t have one until I got in High School. I didn’t really like school. Recess was always my favorite subject. I was the only boy in the family and always thought that I had to do all the work, like mowing the lawn (no power mowers then) and putting the winter’s wood in the basement. We walked to school then, and I always thought it was at least 5 miles but I have since seen that it was only less than one.

I did not get an allowance so I used to collect beer bottles and sell them for a penny each, peeled cascara bark, and sold newspapers. No, I didn’t do them steady…just when I wanted money. I also took piano lessons but would rather play ball and other games. I think my folks knew they were wasting their money. For entertainment we made scooters out of a 2X4 and an old apple box, plus one skate (I’ll try to enclose a picture.)
We raced our wagons and played Kick the can, Hide and Seek, and marbles. (Girls weren’t allowed to play marbles. They played jacks.)
Girls always wore dresses to school. Certain foods and other things were hard to get then because of the war. Rationing and stamps were the thing (teacher needs to explain this). Things that were rationed and hard to get were sugar, shortening, meat, shoes, and there was almost no candy or gum. We bought savings stamps at school to help the war effort. On the beach there were military people constantly on the lookout for the enemy. There were lots of big guns on the hills overlooking the ocean. We also had practice air raid drills, and we had to turn off our lights or pull down shades to keep us dark. A lot of people had gardens to get food. They were called “Victory” gardens.

My favorite people then were the policemen, firemen, and people in the military. I’m not saying we didn’t have crime then, but maybe I was just too young to know it. I think we trusted all adults. I was never scared to walk to town by myself. Later at this age we moved to Portland so that my dad could go to work in the shipyards to help build Liberty ships. I also went to San Francisco on the train by myself. Not safe today.

No TV, cell phones or any of the gadgets that kids have today. We made up or own games and played a lot outdoors. Forts, camps, and parties, mostly run by kids. I think it was good for us.

We always had a Christmas tree, but I don’t remember outdoor decorations. Maybe it was the war or the cost of electricity. We didn’t get a lot at Christmas, but do remember getting clothes. I always bought my mom and dad something, but not my sister. I think I even bought a sock filled with doggie bones for the dog.

I don’t think we ever went anyplace then for vacations because gas was also rationed. We had to have gas stamps to buy gas. They were worth more than money.

We did go to movies once in a while and I think it cost 10 cents. There was always the main movie, ‘newsreels”, and a cartoon. Some of the movies I remember were Gulliver’s Travels; Pinochio; and Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs. My sister and I always went by ourselves. Dad never went, and I can’t remember if my mother did. Fifteen cents paid for the movie and a treat cost 5 cents. My folks also saw that we went to church regularly but they didn’t go. Everybody always dressed up to go and even at my young age, I didn’t think the dressing up should be important. A lot of people come today without dressing up, and that’s good.

I shouldn’t tell the next story but I think it is important. I stole a rubber ball from a dime store once. When I got home my mom questioned me about it and immediately knew where it came from. She made me take it back and I think apologize to the owner. That was a good lesson for me at that young age, and hopefully has stayed with me.

Well, Tanner, I hope you got something out of this story. I did.

Grandpa Shattuck
75 years old

Happiness Is...

It's kind of funny really - happiness that is. I'm really happy here. You probably wouldn't be happy here.
See that mountain in the background? It's Mt. Baker. That cloud over the top is either one of two things - blowing snow or a stratus cloud effect. Both are caused by extremely high winds. And the winds during this photo and the others shot that day are sustained at about 50 mph. Temperatures were hovering around the zero mark as well. Feels like a Northern New York winter day.
Well I dropped into amazing powder lines, dodged a respectable avalanche and got my ass kicked on the hike. I need more time in the gym and on my skis. Let's fix that. Check out the rest of Lance's photos here.

Round One

Or maybe this is like round five or six. At any rate, right about now I start to chant my imminent victory or about how great I've done and am about to do. I start feeling like this is how it will always be - this good because I'm just that good at what I do.

Truth is, this is where I start to lose the fight. This is that point where training and talent in the ring put me in position for a knockout, but for some reason I never put him down. I've made this mistake with predictable precision. It's my flaw and I'm trying to fix it.

I've begun to see goals, and life as a whole, like a boxing match. Only the talented, capable and sharpest will ever see the ring - and only a few of those people know how to close the deal and win. It's an art of balance for those who can turn potential into results, and do it consistently. Use experience from losses and wins, training and discipline to carry you the distance. And that phrase runs through my head almost every day, "go the distance." That's how you win. Pick a plan and execute it. So I'm doing it.

While I have all the prerequisites, I haven't put up the numbers. The wins aren't there. I attract the biggest fights and they're always going to "put me on top," but I lose and concentrate on the highlights of my stellar performance before I lost. People like to watch me fight. I look and sound better and my hits are bigger and harder - meaning the ones I take and deliver. It just never seems to add up to a win.

It's time to stop losing. Fighting great doesn't win. Doing whatever it takes to win wins. Longevity, strategy, calculation and walking lightly w/ a heavy stick. Being wise wins. I could put a rundown of my recent wins this month here. It's quite impressive and enough to lift me, or anyone, to a higher level. I'd just rather shout about them when I win because the game hasn't even started yet and I'm not about to give up my strategy.

Suffice to say the champ can still fight and he can still fight his way to the top. All the potential is still there and that's step one. Now I'm ready. Let's go the distance.

It Feels Right

Going to the in-laws' Christmas Party. Travelling from Bremerton around the peninsula. Being on this base. Getting coffee from my favorite stand. Having a position I'm proud of. Taking in how it snowed all over tonight on my way home and this beautiful base is covered white. Going to get my health taken care of tomorrow. Going to Bellingham tomorrow night for Freeskier work. Skiing Baker Monday. Attending my Navy-sponsored avalanche awareness class on base on Whidbey. Knowing I can count on my Navy, Freeskier, school and work study positions.
These things, simultaneously and harmoniously balanced in my life, are making me very happy.

Deep to Left Field!

I won today. My new orders are for COMNAVNORWEST - flag duty doing public affairs for a new admiral in what seems like a new life. Things just can't get much better than this.
So my only analogy to the recent series of incredibly fortunate events in my life is baseball. Being a player, you go through slumps and even the hottest player to ever grace the game can fizzle out. When that player tries to come back on another team or another sport and don't make the cut there either, it's catastrophic to their person - but you keep stepping up to the plate to swing, miss and have the crowd and game insiders tell you it's over and you don't, nor will you ever make it again. Even your accomplishments and impressive stats don't matter because you're nothing now - but you keep swinging, long after you forgot why you do it.
Then you get a hold of a few good pitches and show remnants of what you once were. In the end, every time, you choke or things don't work out and you look for another team.
What happens when you negotiate another contract w/ the team you did best? Can you dust off and start to work out the cob webs? Can you ever perform like that again after the fire went out? Once it's out - it's out.
Then it happens. Someone hangs one over the plate and you smash it - just awesome enough to start connecting w/ the ball again on a regular basis. You start making bigger and bigger plays - almost as incredibly as you used to. Things start to feel right and you start to worry you'll lose it again, but you keep stacking numbers. Soon you're back to player of the month and leading the league in hits, RBIs and even some clutch homers. Each of these is deliberate and seems like it came on demand as it once did.
Then you do it. You carry the team, and yourself, out of the deepest slump - from the worst player and team in baseball. We win through the latter portion of the season and sweep the playoffs and series. It's a full-scale comeback.
As a player you find yourself in a place similar to the one you were in before; coming off a terrible season only to be the champion you always knew you were.
I'm there now. I just won the world series and now it's time to win next season. I managed to survive the hard times, but it's only worthwhile if you win the coming season too. I know what can happen if you just live for today w/ no idea of tomorrow. Plan long-term for the win. It's about playing well and executing your long-term strategy. I have a plan and it's working. Hold on everyone cause' here we go!

Back in Black

So I'm back - back on the base in Bremerton. This place is like a high school for grown ups who aren't grown up enough to live on their own. Seems I'm still one of them.
This was my first duty station as a 19-year-old Sailor in March of 1999 when I reported to the USS Sacramento (AOE 1). There are so many memories of the subsequent three years I spent when our ship was homeported here. I can't go into all of them but wow. It's crazy how normal, comfortable and surreal the whole experience can be.
What was new then is not new now and seems like a state of near decay. It's insane to find parking and driving is nearly fucking useless - it's a mess. No parking garages anymore either. Kind of makes this place look deserted from what it once was. Things sure have taken a beating and I guess I helped contribute to it.
It's 1:10 a.m. and I need to be up in a few hours. I guess some things never change.

Sorry Mike But It's Really Uncanny...

My wonderful classmate and critique group member hit me up on Facebook this morning. While checking out his photos it hit me.

Time is Money

I came up with a great analogy about life and fulfillment during my twice-monthly Saturday morning drive to class in Olympia. I was thinking about how I was spending my time going back and forth to school and how I could better use that time. Well here's what I came up with.

Time is really the currency of life. In many ways it's like dollars and cents. We are all allotted an amount in the variable unit of a lifespan. This lifespan or lifetime is made up of an undetermined number of years, which are broken down into months, days, hours, minutes and seconds.

Successful people manage their time to live life to the fullest. They are usually financially sound as well. There's a lot of correlation here. We can borrow time. We can waste time, invest time, make time, gain time and buy time - kind of like money.

On the flipside, time is its own currency. Each one of us gets to assess what value our time has and whether how we're spending it is worthwhile - which is a great word to use when you're telling someone you don't have buyer's remorse about something spent on.

Everyone equally has 24 hours in a day. How we spend them greatly determines where we are in life and how we live. I'm making a conscious effort to spend mine better - with the future in mind. I know if I'm spending my minutes efficiently, I'm living well.

Finally, when I'm out of time currency, I'll rest easier knowing I'm debt free and invested my time in the right places. That's the general idea anyhow.

Since I don't have any money, I'll just keep investing time.

So Are Your Cars Still Going to Suck?

Has anyone considered the main reason no one wants to own any of the "Big 3" automobiles is because they suck? Why isn't the media concentrating on the fact the "Big 3" makes absolute crap automobiles. I haven't been stupid enough to sink my money into an American-made auto in my adult life.
My piece-of-shit Subaru has put me through the wringer to the tune of about $6,000 in repairs. It's a lemon and certainly doesn't accurately represent Subaru - but we'll take it out of the mix for our purposes here.
I'm not really into doing the math right now, but figure this - I bought my 96 4Runner for 15,000 with 120,000 miles in 2002 and it booked out for 8,500 with 265,000 miles in 2007. It cost me $1,500 in maintenance over that time.
I purchased a 95 Honda Accord w/ 80,000 miles for $11,900 in 2000 and sold it in 2004 for 6,500 with 130,00 miles. It cost me about $1,000 in four years.
Absolutely nothing went wrong with these cars. They just kept going. I never even did the prescribed timing belt for the 4Runner - twice overdue! I don't know anyone who can say the same for the domestic vehicles in the same classes.
That's because domestic vehicles suck! They're ugly, unreliably and are not designed to last more 100,000 miles. Let's not forget performance. They drive like shit, they're less efficient and grossly underpowered. Most of them are uncomfortable and awkward.
The "Big 3" do not deserve the money they're about to get - but they need it. I personally wouldn't be opposed to seeing the government buy those companies, rebuild them and sell them to new owners.
Let's make sure the product stops sucking before it sucks our dollars and economy down with them.

Giddy Up!

I wasn't sure how I felt about this at first. I saw this craigslist.org advertisement for high tips at a new espresso stand on Bainbridge Island.
My initial reaction kind of upset me. I really don't support the idea of women was being exploited for money. Then I thought about this. How big of a deal is it? People feel like shit right now. It's hard enough to come up with some cash and Starbucks is downright boring.
So more power to them! I'll come buy some espresso and leave a tip.

UNCLE! UNCLE! UUUNNNNCCCAAAL!

Well she did it. Jill is pregnant. All I can say is that I feel like the Earth stopped spinning on its axis. Jillynne is pregnant. It's amazing. I mean - I just don't know what to say, but not knowing what to say in this instance seems worse than saying nothing at all. Mark your calendars kiddies.
By its nature, time changes everything. It's events like this that drastically change nearly every facet of life as we know it. And I feel this change is going to make everything just a little better for everyone but Jill - this will make her a new person.

I'm Coming Home

I don't know when or for how long, but I'm going back. And when I get there it won't be soon enough.
In the meantime I'll be visiting memory lane on a regular basis. I've been stuck in a mental New Jersey for the last two days, circa 1984. Thanks to the interweb, you can find just about anything that reminds you of how things used to be. Even though I was only four or five years old, I remember a lot - like this guy. Most of all, I miss good old New Jersey and the greater New York City area. I miss it so much I could cry and this fall has been the worst. Whenever I do go back, it won't be soon enough.
Here's a taste of New Jersey circa 1984.

Thanksgiving

Ten years ago, today, I boarded a plane with my best new Navy friend, Spencer Morton. We flew from Baltimore, MD to Newark to have my last Thanksgiving at Aunt Barb's house in Denville, NJ. Jill had just gotten out of the Navy and brought Morty and I on the train to NYC for my first time in too long. It was a cleaner Guilani city. I hardly recognized it as the spray painted rough house of my childhood. It was the last time I saw the twin towers and the last time I really remember my sister feeling good about herself. I remember coming home in uniform too - this was the first time I'd seen my parents since my bootcamp graduation on November 4. I remember trying to explain to my mother what a big deal it was to go outside without a cover (hat). We had dinner at Steve and Sue's house and my united family, at that time, welcomed Morty and I with loving arms. It was truly wonderful.
Lots of things never happened again after that day. I had no idea it would be so profound in my memory. The whole three days helped me identify who I am or would be for the rest of my life.
I'm thankful for those days:
Morty, Huddy, Singleton, Mac, Rm. 104, my family, NYC, the Thanksgiving Day Parade, Nat Sherman, New Jersey and more - flying for the holidays, wet smelly leaves, damp cold, turkey, canned cranberries, spilled cranberry juice, football and last night's dream about Murray Hill. Man...

Breaking News:

Are we there yet? I think so. What a day.
As many of you know, I've been waiting for my shot for what seems like a lifetime. In all fairness, I've had my shot several times. You could say it just wasn't my time yet, but I know why it didn't work out.
My first departure from the Navy left me unfulfilled and poised to fail - honestly. The stress of no money, the mess around my internship, school, unemployment, having the kid, no medical insurance, the car blowing up (x3 for a $6,500 total over the last three years), Tahoe and 75-hour work weeks w/ 3 hours of sleep every night, Boreal, my column at the weekly and finally here in Hoquaim - it's been an incredible road.
I feel confident saying I don't know anyone who's been what I've been through to be in this line of work. It hardly pays, but that's not why I do it. It's not my means of living. When everyone else fell through, Freeskier came through with my first contract for stories - all expenses paid with gear coming out my ears and finally some money. My skis and annual gear wish list from Armada arrive tomorrow. I'm officially back in the Navy and school is looking up. My work study is still there and flexible and we should have medical again in less than two weeks.
If you're tuning in for the first time at this entry, you've missed a lot - so much more than I ever expected. I risked so much more than I anticipated when I started all this five years ago.
All the romance is gone on this occasion. Not like the late nights at Powder or intricate knowledge of Armada's line a year in advance with all the free skis and tickets I could stand - or the prestige of public relations director. This is solid. No romance and no lights. It's what should be and I made it happen.
Savannah convinced me to go back to school last year. She asked me how many more times something awesome would come across for me. At that point, I was sure it never would. And the next year kept me believing the same thing.
Family, Navy, school, Freeskier... Makes me think of a post I had no more than two weeks ago about killing yourself by not getting stronger. You know - overload where you start hurting yourself rather than getting stronger.
Well I'm stronger than ever and looks like there were a few more opportunities left - I'm stronger and more prepared than ever to make the most of them.

These Make me Think

Well Thanksgiving is almost here and its being came up during a nice fascist liberal conversation at my equally liberal school, The Evergreen State College. One guy felt the need to call it Turkey Day just because he didn't agree with the widely marketed idea of the holiday. Let's see how shallow and ignorant my idea is. I'll be posting some Thanksgiving ideas.

Pardon me...

from having to watch the Sarah palin show yet again. You know - the sitcom where that wanna-be politician commits political suicide everyday... Yeah that's the one.
Yesterday's episode had our fair unelected VP candidate partaking in an annual ritual usually held for the actual US President. Usually our country's leader light-heartedly pardons a turkey from "certain death" just before Thanksgiving and eveyone's supposed to laugh. Ol' Sarah decided she was on the same level as the president and saved an Alaskan turkey - FAIL! She was successful though - we all laughed. Just then the media takes complete advantage of her ignorance by showcasing her stumbling through the PR stunt w/ more idiotic ramble. It's all haha fun until you see what's going on in the background. Now just because she's clueless doesn't mean it's o.k. to exploit her in this manner. I'm throwing two flags on the play - unsportsmanlike conduct and unnecessary roughness.
Make not of her backdrop - because it's news. Don't blow it out of proportion by showing three minutes of turkey slaughter before Thanksgiving. Two wrongs here make the governer just Poor Sarah again - and make her message of the media beating her up a little more believable.

Morning Funny

So if we're giving Hillary props this morning - why stop at the last post? At least we should all know our future secretary of state will no longer be considered in the same league as our beloved Alaska Governer. Looks like the Wasilla Mayor's Office party. Good times!

Political Mike Jordan

Well our president-to-be has really done it again. In just the short year I've been following Barack Obama, he's managed to impress me at every turn - especially when it counts. If American politics were sports, he'd be the Jeter, or better yet - the Mike Jordan. No one does it better.

He's building the dream team cabinet. This better than watching the draft picks.

A W?

Waiting kills me. Passive is not my style. So, on the note of 'being myself,' (thanks Jen) I made progress toward a W.
That' s how Bobby Knight saw life - in Ws and Ls. Nothing leads to a W like a W.